she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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