i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
