Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
