am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
