first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
