how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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