8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize