he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
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Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
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He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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