Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
