Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
