Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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