She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
