We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
