I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
