Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
