so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
