But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
