Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
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I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
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It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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