those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
