Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
