her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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