dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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