I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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