Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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