her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
