So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
