Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
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Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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