so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
how drunk are you?
Several
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
