i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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