Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
