playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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