okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's never too late to be topless.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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