If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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