tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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