I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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