Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
