my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Randomize
