Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
