my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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