Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
