where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
