I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
