I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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