Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
