I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
