what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
