No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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