i jhust puked up my retainher.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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