did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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