watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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