Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
