I'm laying in your front yard are you home
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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