There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
