Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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