Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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