I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
