She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
