when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
