He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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