just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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