all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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